You are The Shit Greeting Card

from $3.50

A refreshingly direct compliment in a world drowning in limp-wristed praise, performative enthusiasm, and gold-star-for-existing culture. This card dispenses with all of that. It does not congratulate someone for showing up, breathing, or completing a task that required the fortitude of a damp sponge. Instead, it acknowledges genuine excellence in the only language that still feels honest.
Use this card for the rare individual who actually earned it. The friend who handled a crisis with competence. The colleague who performed above baseline humanity. The partner who carried more than their half without narrating the effort. Consider this your formal declaration that merit still matters, and that recognition should be given accordingly.
Printed just for you, these effervescent cards provide an exceptional canvas for your handwritten commendation. Blank inside, they come in three sizes, ensuring you have precisely the right amount of space to articulate your admiration without diluting it. Because when it comes to your missives, only the best will do.

Specs
• Material: 14.77 oz/yd² (350 g/m²) paperboard
• Toner-based printing
• Vibrant colors
• Comes with a complimentary envelope 

Sizes:
• Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)
• Medium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)
• Large: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)

Product weight:
• Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)
• Medium: 0.6 oz (17 g)
• Large: 0.85 oz (24 g)

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

A refreshingly direct compliment in a world drowning in limp-wristed praise, performative enthusiasm, and gold-star-for-existing culture. This card dispenses with all of that. It does not congratulate someone for showing up, breathing, or completing a task that required the fortitude of a damp sponge. Instead, it acknowledges genuine excellence in the only language that still feels honest.
Use this card for the rare individual who actually earned it. The friend who handled a crisis with competence. The colleague who performed above baseline humanity. The partner who carried more than their half without narrating the effort. Consider this your formal declaration that merit still matters, and that recognition should be given accordingly.
Printed just for you, these effervescent cards provide an exceptional canvas for your handwritten commendation. Blank inside, they come in three sizes, ensuring you have precisely the right amount of space to articulate your admiration without diluting it. Because when it comes to your missives, only the best will do.

Specs
• Material: 14.77 oz/yd² (350 g/m²) paperboard
• Toner-based printing
• Vibrant colors
• Comes with a complimentary envelope 

Sizes:
• Small: 4″ × 6″ (101 × 152 mm)
• Medium: 5″ × 7″ (127 × 178 mm)
• Large: 5.83″ × 8.27″ (148 × 210 mm)

Product weight:
• Small: 0.39 oz (11 g)
• Medium: 0.6 oz (17 g)
• Large: 0.85 oz (24 g)

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Size: